So, you made the perfect plan, followed every step, crossed your t’s and dotted your i’s. But you still didn’t get what you wanted. You still, somehow, didn’t get it. You planned your whole life for that moment that you thought would change everything, and then it didn’t.
When I didn’t match at a medical school this year, I was devastated. Me? How could they not want me? I kept asking over and over. I did all the right things. I made the grades, got the MCAT score, did the research, volunteered, wrote a moving personal statement, and gave a great interview. But they still said no. I struggled for a long time trying to figure out “the answer” to why I didn’t get accepted initially to my top choice medical school, or to any school for that matter. I didn't find the answers I was hoping for. "Just improve your MCAT some more" the advisers said. That's it? Another year of my life not doing what I want because my MCAT was off by a couple points? Yes. Then the email came that the state education budget had been cut causing the number of available seats for medical school to shrink even more. It was a courtesy email, but it really meant bye-bye. They even forced some students who were already accepted to defer for a year because the schools just couldn't afford to educate that many students. Yes, there's a significant shortage of doctors in America right now. Yes, especially in Texas. But no, the state didn't seem to make it a priority to educate more doctors. I felt like all the cards were stacked against me. I still feel like that sometimes. So no, I didn't get what I wanted. I didn't get the fat envelope in the mail saying "congrats". I didn't get to make a cute post on Instagram about how I would be moving on to the next step and in four years add MD to the end of my name. I didn't achieve my lifelong dream. YET. As the kids say, haters gonna hate, and believe me, they really do hate. There were a couple months of awkwardly explaining to people how my application panned out, and I got many sympathetic shoulder pats and pep talks that all summarized to "welp, you tried that and it didn't work out. Oh well, moving on." None of them seemed to understand why I WASN'T giving up. "Just go get a job with your degree. That'll be good enough." I explained to them I would be doing a 1-year post-bachelor program and continue boosting my resume with research, volunteering, and a new MCAT. They still just didn't seem to get why I was going to all the trouble. I've worked my whole life to reach this point, and I truly believe medicine is where I belong. I love more than anything to get up at 5, put on scrubs, sit in traffic, and spend as many hours as I can at the hospital talking to doctors about treatment plans, talking to patients about how they're doing, comforting family members, and just being part, even if it's a small part for now, of the hospital organism. So yes, I failed to get accepted to medical school this cycle. Yes, I'm unhappy I don't get to start the next phase of my medical education right away. But I have, gruelingly over time, come to see that just because you don't get what you want right when you want it doesn't mean you won't get it. You really do have to keep your nose to the grindstone, despite what people may say, and trust that all that planning, step-following, list-making, t crossing, and i dotting really WILL make a difference in the end. Just because you didn't get what you wanted doesn't mean you're out. When you strive for your goals and do what you love every day, it becomes clear that one failure, even if it feels big, is just a blip on the radar an not the end-all-be-all of your career of life. "Keep pounding it out every day until you get to say 'scalpel please'." Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
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